Some years ago I moved to France for personal reasons. Very soon I started to discover that the funniest activity to do in this country is to look at French and discover how good and famous they think they are.
Personally, as an Italian, I find that my country is much more interesting to visit and that Rome is much more worth a visit than Paris. Why? Go through this site and find it out by yourself!
I will therefore not hesitate to publish funny things on this pompous country and on the people who live there, and to publicise my discoveries to the whole world. No sorting order whatsoever. I'll just follow my instinct, describing events as I remember them and taking inspirations from everyday life.
If you are French and you are not humble enough to accept comments or critics on your country, then leave this page before starting to get hurt. If you want you can leave your comments too, but, please, don't be vulgar, or I'll cut them off.

27 Mar 2008

Spike of jealousy

A spike of jealousy. This is how I define the French jeering at a possible EU ban on one of its best-known culinary products, the Mozzarella. In fact, following Magnini's joke on Alain Bernard having found "new good vitamins" to win the Eindhoven European Swimming Contest, the French are trying to defeat Italy's three major point of interests: cuisine, football and tourism.
Three patriots have come to protect Italy from this attacks. Paolo De Castro, Silvio Berlusconi and Roberto Donadoni.

First, Italy's Agriculture Minister has quickly answered the world demonstrating his confidence in mozzarella. He said that only 83 farms out of 1,900 are concerned by the dyoxine, and that their products have already been taken off the market. And, I dare to add, any italian product is much less contaminated by pesticides than any French product, as you can see on this post.
And, let me say, even if Japan and South Korea have halted imports of the mozzarella amid concerns about contamination, we don't care. Mozzarella is good for us and if they don't want to eat it, they can stick to McDonald as much as they like.

Second, Berlusconi, in a urge of patriotism, is defending the Italian airline, Alitalia, from the French attack. "Why are we giving our national company to the French?" Berlusconi asked in an interview published Thursday by the Turin daily La Stampa. "It's madness!". "The Italian consortium exists," he emphasized, naming the Ligrestis, Benetton and MedioBanca as possible savers.

Third, the Italian football coach Roberto Donadoni has claimed that Italy is in good shape heading towards EURO 2008 despite the 1-0 defeat in an international friendly against Spain. French should just keep silent and calm, because the umpteenth debacle is on his way for them. Italy will undoubtedly win the 2008 European Championship.

The question is now obvious: are we becoming a real united country? I hope so. And in any case whole Italy liked the performance of Carla Bruni who impressed fashion experts with her restrained glamour Wednesday as the French presidential couple arrived in Britain for a state visit.

General Ranking

General ranking in reverse cronological order of an unending competition between two cousin countries: France and Italy. Remark: this is a historical record of the main events where both France and Italy have been put face to face and that I find interesting to show on my blog. See who’s winning!


EVENT NAME
INFO
OVERALL SCORE
Beijing 2008 Olympic Games
Italy comes 9th with 8 gold medals. France comes 10th with 7 gold medals.
Italy 6 - France 3
Eindhoven European Swimming Competition 2008
Russia comes first with 25 medals and 12 golds. Italy comes second (with 21 medals and 5 golds). France comes third (with twelve medals and 5 golds).
Italy 5 - France 3
Eindhoven European Swimming Competition 2008
Pellegrini beats Manaudou world record in 400m freestyle
Italy 4 - France 3
Eindhoven European Swimming Competition 2008
Alain Bernard beats Filippo Magnini
Italy 3 - France 3
Rugby Six Nations 2008
France easily beats Italy twice
Italy 3 – France 2
French Politics
Carla Bruni becomes French First Lady
Italy 3 – France 1
Euro 2008 Football Cup
In the B group, Italy comes first and France comes second.
Italy 2 – France 1
Euro 2008 Football Cup
France beats Italy 3-1 at home
Italy 1 – France 1
Football World Cup 2006
Italy is World Champion and France runner-up
Italy 1 – France 0


... TO BE CONTINUED!...

25 Mar 2008

Suspicious records

It's swimming time. And, for the occasion, French Alain Bernard shattered (with a time of 47.50 seconds) the 100m Freestyle world record for the second time in two days at the European Swimming championships on Saturday. He had in fact already beaten the world record the previous day, finishing in 47.60 seconds in the semi-finals. Furthermore, during the very same competition, Bernard lowered the 50 m freestyle world record to a time of 21.50...

Many people were suspicious about these performances. How could this newcomer swim so fast? Was human his last four years progression? Or was it the result of doping?

On the podium, Nystrand (2nd) and Magnini (3rd) shuffled uncomfortably when Bernard received his medal. Neither smiled. Nystrand could even be said to have scowled. They shook the champion's hands more out of a sense of sporting duty, it seemed, than in genuine honour of the man who had thrashed them. Did they know already the truth? Were they thinking what the Italian Champion, Magnini, let courageously slip afterwards: that the big over-pompous French "had found the right vitamins"?

Many criticised Filippo for his declarations, but, happily enough, the French journal Le Monde was doubtful about the correctness of their swimmer's world record and talked of "performances surprenantes"...

I hope we will soon get to know the truth. And, in the meantime, I say: Go Magnini go! While whole depressed and repressed France is celebrating their hero without even asking how he managed to swim that way, we Italians know you are the faster one.

And in any case our Federica Pellegrini is giving that Laure Manaudou the lesson she was in search of, beating her 400m Freestyle World Record. And she is now the current European Champion of the 400m.

Italy vs France, a match again!

22 Mar 2008

Berlusconi in the limelight against France

Berlusconi being nationalist? I didn't think so when I heard he had said he would veto Air France-KLM's deal to buy Alitalia if he won next Italian election. I reckon he is just looking for far-lost notoriety by showing nationalism to a people who is not that nationalist any more. Italians are part of a united nation only when Totti, Pirlo, Cannavaro and Buffon play together. For the rest of the time, we simply don't care.
In any case I think that this time our grown-old Berlusca is playing his cards the right way, because one thing Italians don't want is to be subject of haughty France.
And I also consider that France should stop trying to think of itself as a colonialist country. Colonialism has long gone, France! Stop thinking you should export your way of doing/being and reckoning you are an international power, because you are no more. Just like Italy, I don't deny it. This century is in more powerful and bigger hands: United States of America, Russia and evidently China. Capitalism on one side and Communism (or Socialism, if you want to call it so...) on the other... The rest of the world is just watching and I am incredulous at the idea that other countries think they can play any role in future world definition. This is true for stupid France. This is true for stupid Italy: I heard the Italian Prime Minister asking China to stop military aggression to Tibet... do you think they heard you little voice, Romano Prodi? Bigger (economical) interests are at stake, today. Not just useless France or Italy's elections. Not just Malpensa or Fiumicino monopoly of Italian main hub. Far more relevant problems are to be faced, with, in the background, a cold-war-like situation. Democratic western countries want regions like Kosovo or Tibet be independent (or at least autonomous) and human rights to be respected. At the same time overgrown China (that has just passed the US in the number of Internet users!) and historically powerful Russia don't want to loose their hold on their people. At any (human) cost.
Who do you think will win? I don't know, but in my worthless opinion the only role smaller countries can play is to be ready to switch on the right side at the right moment... and in the meantime everybody should keep himself informed on international issues more than on which movie are going to be produced at Hollywood. Supporting movements like Amnesty International one is a good idea too, because united we can win, but I don't really imagine a world where everybody can eat just like Italians or French. Because, sadly, there won't be much food left on the planet in a few days.

Can anybody hear me?

Beauty contest and blindness of pompous people

I see in one of the surveys in the right column of this blog that someone (surely a short-sighted French) has voted for Cécilia in a beauty contest with Carla (Bruni) Sarkozy.
No comments...
I just invite you (if you haven't done it already) to compare the two presidential ladies on Google Images, by clicking on the following links:

Any doubt left?

17 Mar 2008

Unwanted takeover...

Sad news today: apparently Alitalia is going to be bought by Air France... How is this going to happen? Do Italy really need help from France? I can't believe it!!! We should not leave France ingest in our national problems. In my opinion, the truth is that the French government wants to become stronger and have an international recognition of their country. And expanding the partnership Air France-KLM with the acquisition of Alitalia would be very rewarding for the government, especially after that the European Airbus consortium (EADS) had won the megamillion dollar contract to supply their air planes as refuelers to the USAF.

I think the Italian leaders are going crazy and, with elections approaching, wrong choices are being made! A state of confusion is on the road in Italy, as usual.
Berlusconi is getting older and even more penny-pinching. His opponent, colorless Walter Veltroni, is for the first time on the road to success. Umberto Bossi keeps having an idiotic separatist attitude... At the same time the low class is more concerned by who will win the Campionato (Football League) between Inter and Rome (go Roma, go!!!) than by economical and strategic events like that French takeover on Alitalia.

Where are we going then? Having our Alitalia company bought by a country like France, that is ruled by a president who is mixing roles (family, party and presidency), leave me lost for words... and Italians really don't like the idea of being taken over by the French.
And yet I don't really think we have a choice this time: France will finally be successful, after losing the Football World Cup and having had to accept an Italian first lady.

I would like to take advantage of this post to give my support
to every "Boycott China" operation! Please respect the human rights of the Tibetan people!

13 Mar 2008

Banana Republic 2 - The stars



They are taking part in the new Absurdistan competition:

For France:

  • Nicolas Sarkozy
  • Dominique De Villepin
  • François Fillon
  • Ségolène Royal
  • Zinedine Zidane
  • Carla Bruni (undercover)

For Italy:

  • Silvio Berlusconi
  • Romano Prodi
  • Alessandra Mussolini
  • Umberto Bossi
  • Antonio Sgarbi
  • Marco Materazzi

Who are you for today?