Spike of jealousy

A spike of jealousy. This is how I define the French jeering at a possible EU ban on one of its best-known culinary products, the Mozzarella. In fact, following Magnini's joke on Alain Bernard having found "new good vitamins" to win the Eindhoven European Swimming Contest, the French are trying to defeat Italy's three major point of interests: cuisine, football and tourism.
Three patriots have come to protect Italy from this attacks. Paolo De Castro, Silvio Berlusconi and Roberto Donadoni.

First, Italy's Agriculture Minister has quickly answered the world demonstrating his confidence in mozzarella. He said that only 83 farms out of 1,900 are concerned by the dyoxine, and that their products have already been taken off the market. And, I dare to add, any italian product is much less contaminated by pesticides than any French product, as you can see on this post.
And, let me say, even if Japan and South Korea have halted imports of the mozzarella amid concerns about contamination, we don't care. Mozzarella is good for us and if they don't want to eat it, they can stick to McDonald as much as they like.

Second, Berlusconi, in a urge of patriotism, is defending the Italian airline, Alitalia, from the French attack. "Why are we giving our national company to the French?" Berlusconi asked in an interview published Thursday by the Turin daily La Stampa. "It's madness!". "The Italian consortium exists," he emphasized, naming the Ligrestis, Benetton and MedioBanca as possible savers.

Third, the Italian football coach Roberto Donadoni has claimed that Italy is in good shape heading towards EURO 2008 despite the 1-0 defeat in an international friendly against Spain. French should just keep silent and calm, because the umpteenth debacle is on his way for them. Italy will undoubtedly win the 2008 European Championship.

The question is now obvious: are we becoming a real united country? I hope so. And in any case whole Italy liked the performance of Carla Bruni who impressed fashion experts with her restrained glamour Wednesday as the French presidential couple arrived in Britain for a state visit.

General Ranking

General ranking in reverse cronological order of an unending competition between two cousin countries: France and Italy. Remark: this is a historical record of the main events where both France and Italy have been put face to face and that I find interesting to show on my blog. See who’s winning!

EVENT NAME	INFO	OVERALL SCORE
Beijing 2008 Olympic Games	Italy comes 9th with 8 gold medals. France comes 10th with 7 gold medals.	Italy 6 - France 3
Eindhoven European Swimming Competition 2008	Russia comes first with 25 medals and 12 golds. Italy comes second (with 21 medals and 5 golds). France comes third (with twelve medals and 5 golds).	Italy 5 - France 3
Eindhoven European Swimming Competition 2008	Pellegrini beats Manaudou world record in 400m freestyle	Italy 4 - France 3
Eindhoven European Swimming Competition 2008	Alain Bernard beats Filippo Magnini	Italy 3 - France 3
Rugby Six Nations 2008	France easily beats Italy twice	Italy 3 – France 2
French Politics	Carla Bruni becomes French First Lady	Italy 3 – France 1
Euro 2008 Football Cup	In the B group, Italy comes first and France comes second.	Italy 2 – France 1
Euro 2008 Football Cup	France beats Italy 3-1 at home	Italy 1 – France 1
Football World Cup 2006	Italy is World Champion and France runner-up	Italy 1 – France 0

... TO BE CONTINUED!...

Suspicious records

It's swimming time. And, for the occasion, French Alain Bernard shattered (with a time of 47.50 seconds) the 100m Freestyle world record for the second time in two days at the European Swimming championships on Saturday. He had in fact already beaten the world record the previous day, finishing in 47.60 seconds in the semi-finals. Furthermore, during the very same competition, Bernard lowered the 50 m freestyle world record to a time of 21.50...

Many people were suspicious about these performances. How could this newcomer swim so fast? Was human his last four years progression? Or was it the result of doping?

On the podium, Nystrand (2nd) and Magnini (3rd) shuffled uncomfortably when Bernard received his medal. Neither smiled. Nystrand could even be said to have scowled. They shook the champion's hands more out of a sense of sporting duty, it seemed, than in genuine honour of the man who had thrashed them. Did they know already the truth? Were they thinking what the Italian Champion, Magnini, let courageously slip afterwards: that the big over-pompous French "had found the right vitamins"?

Many criticised Filippo for his declarations, but, happily enough, the French journal Le Monde was doubtful about the correctness of their swimmer's world record and talked of "performances surprenantes"...

I hope we will soon get to know the truth. And, in the meantime, I say: Go Magnini go! While whole depressed and repressed France is celebrating their hero without even asking how he managed to swim that way, we Italians know you are the faster one.

And in any case our Federica Pellegrini is giving that Laure Manaudou the lesson she was in search of, beating her 400m Freestyle World Record. And she is now the current European Champion of the 400m.

Italy vs France, a match again!

Berlusconi in the limelight against France

Berlusconi being nationalist? I didn't think so when I heard he had said he would veto Air France-KLM's deal to buy Alitalia if he won next Italian election. I reckon he is just looking for far-lost notoriety by showing nationalism to a people who is not that nationalist any more. Italians are part of a united nation only when Totti, Pirlo, Cannavaro and Buffon play together. For the rest of the time, we simply don't care.

In any case I think that this time our grown-old Berlusca is playing his cards the right way, because one thing Italians don't want is to be subject of haughty France.

And I also consider that France should stop trying to think of itself as a colonialist country. Colonialism has long gone, France! Stop thinking you should export your way of doing/being and reckoning you are an international power, because you are no more. Just like Italy, I don't deny it. This century is in more powerful and bigger hands: United States of America, Russia and evidently China. Capitalism on one side and Communism (or Socialism, if you want to call it so...) on the other... The rest of the world is just watching and I am incredulous at the idea that other countries think they can play any role in future world definition. This is true for stupid France. This is true for stupid Italy: I heard the Italian Prime Minister asking China to stop military aggression to Tibet... do you think they heard you little voice, Romano Prodi? Bigger (economical) interests are at stake, today. Not just useless France or Italy's elections. Not just Malpensa or Fiumicino monopoly of Italian main hub. Far more relevant problems are to be faced, with, in the background, a cold-war-like situation. Democratic western countries want regions like Kosovo or Tibet be independent (or at least autonomous) and human rights to be respected. At the same time overgrown China (that has just passed the US in the number of Internet users!) and historically powerful Russia don't want to loose their hold on their people. At any (human) cost.

Who do you think will win? I don't know, but in my worthless opinion the only role smaller countries can play is to be ready to switch on the right side at the right moment... and in the meantime everybody should keep himself informed on international issues more than on which movie are going to be produced at Hollywood. Supporting movements like Amnesty International one is a good idea too, because united we can win, but I don't really imagine a world where everybody can eat just like Italians or French. Because, sadly, there won't be much food left on the planet in a few days.

Can anybody hear me?

Beauty contest and blindness of pompous people

I see in one of the surveys in the right column of this blog that someone (surely a short-sighted French) has voted for Cécilia in a beauty contest with Carla (Bruni) Sarkozy.

No comments...

I just invite you (if you haven't done it already) to compare the two presidential ladies on Google Images, by clicking on the following links:

• Carla
• Cécilia

Any doubt left?

Unwanted takeover...

Sad news today: apparently Alitalia is going to be bought by Air France... How is this going to happen? Do Italy really need help from France? I can't believe it!!! We should not leave France ingest in our national problems. In my opinion, the truth is that the French government wants to become stronger and have an international recognition of their country. And expanding the partnership Air France-KLM with the acquisition of Alitalia would be very rewarding for the government, especially after that the European Airbus consortium (EADS) had won the megamillion dollar contract to supply their air planes as refuelers to the USAF.

I think the Italian leaders are going crazy and, with elections approaching, wrong choices are being made! A state of confusion is on the road in Italy, as usual.
Berlusconi is getting older and even more penny-pinching. His opponent, colorless Walter Veltroni, is for the first time on the road to success. Umberto Bossi keeps having an idiotic separatist attitude... At the same time the low class is more concerned by who will win the Campionato (Football League) between Inter and Rome (go Roma, go!!!) than by economical and strategic events like that French takeover on Alitalia.

Where are we going then? Having our Alitalia company bought by a country like France, that is ruled by a president who is mixing roles (family, party and presidency), leave me lost for words... and Italians really don't like the idea of being taken over by the French.

And yet I don't really think we have a choice this time: France will finally be successful, after losing the Football World Cup and having had to accept an Italian first lady.

I would like to take advantage of this post to give my support to every "Boycott China" operation! Please respect the human rights of the Tibetan people!

Banana Republic 2 - The stars

They are taking part in the new Absurdistan competition:

For France:

• Nicolas Sarkozy
• Dominique De Villepin
• François Fillon
• Ségolène Royal
• Zinedine Zidane
• Carla Bruni (undercover)

For Italy:

• Silvio Berlusconi
• Romano Prodi
• Alessandra Mussolini
• Umberto Bossi
• Antonio Sgarbi
• Marco Materazzi

Who are you for today?

Banana Republic

Some years ago, Italy, under Silvio Berlusconi's "government" , was internationally admitted to the prestigious list of Banana Republics of the world. A well-deserved recognition for the work of a man who was selling his country in the name of money.

• The Economist called him a "crass buffoon" and "a man of very questionable integrity."
• He embodies "nepotism, corruption, and dishonesty," said the Danish newspaper Information.
• The Swedish daily Aftonbladet dismissed him as "an arrogant clown."
• The German newspaper Berliner Zeitung wrote that he was "a shady deal maker,"
• France's Libération concluded that he was a "threat to liberal democracy,"
• The Financial Times argued that "he lives in a media bubble where his public gaffes and gratuitous insults go largely unreported at home—at least until he goes abroad."
• A blogger said "That stupid dwarf is selling our country, making his own laws, acting as if the constitution is a catalogue of options...

At the beginning of 2007, the list of Absurdistan Countries of the world was the following:

• Honduras, thanks to the domination of the export sector by the United Fruit and Standard Fruit companies;
• Pakistan, thanks to declaration of President Musharraf: "I can assure you that nothing will happen in Pakistan. We are not a banana republic.";
• Italy, thanks to many people who contributed to reach an astonishingly high level of confusion in a organised and democratic country.

We were proud of ourselves. Our tremendous political leader had given our country the possibility to get this international recognition in just a few months' work!

Today Sarkozy, evidently jealous of the title Italy had been given, has raised his own country to this international recognition too. He firstly shortlisted first-class people to help him undergo this moment of glory. Through long analysis, a few praise-worth people where chosen.

In 2007:

• Segolene Royal (who faced Sarkozy in a wonderful tv match, but lost her temper during the highly-watched duel)
• Francois Fillon (coming straight from the Adam's Family movie, with his pale face and dark eyes)
• Dominique de Villepin (and the ignominious Clearstream affair)

In 2008, not happy with the result, Sarkozy decided to hire an expert of the Banana's sector. And, after deep reflection, got the idea of looking for an ally in the country he was just trying to follow: Italy. This is how the former italian supermodel Carla Bruni got on a plane to the Elisée and married Little Sarkozy.

Following a well scheduled plan, she made the following actions, in order to achieve the beloved result:

• Publicly criticise France and French just before marring their President: "I like to be Italian. I like the Italian temperament and I like Italian food. French people are in a bad mood for some reason, and Italian people are in a good mood. French people are always negative. They also are crazy about their own language, so every time there's something that's not in French, they get so mad about it."
• Get naked. Sensational pictures of Nicolas Sarkozy's reported wife Carla Bruni posing naked have left the French President red-faced after being posted on the Internet.

To complete the cake, Sarkozy had a heated exchange with fishermen during protests against rising fuel costs. And he traded insults with a man who refused to shake his hand at France's huge annual agricultural show.

French couldn't ask for more. Their president was performing very well.

And now France, thanks to President Sarkozy, can be awarded with the famous "Absurdistan Prize".

But, let me say, far behind Italy that, with the presence of people like Umberto Bossi (Leader of the Padanian Paranoiac Separatist Movement), Alessandra Mussolini (Fascist just like that well-known Benito), Vittorio Sgarbi (Founder of the incredible Party of Beauty), had reached levels no on else could reach in a Democratic Republic.

France, just a runner-up then. Once again...

Rome vs Paris...

When you are willing to compare Rome to Paris it is just like you are trying to compare gold with brass , or, as Frenchies say, "vous etes en train de melanger les serviettes et les torchons"!

To me, Rome comes definitively first in the comparison with Paris. Ok, I like being pompous too. Or do French have the copyright on pompousness?

I want to invite you to read these two posts (and the related comments) which I inexpectedly found very interesting:

• Is Rome better than Paris?
• France vs Italy: whose food is better?

Please do not hesitate to leave comments and opinions!

Please stop blogging in French now!

Today I was reading an article on "Top 20 des blogs les plus influents en Europe" and I found many comments from France asking for a separate list of French blogs.

The subject of the post was easy: a web site (Wikio) is trying to make a list of the top read european blogs.

Full stop. No interpretation possible.

But French readers were not happy with that (as usual, I daresay). They wanted to have their list of blogs. They wanted Internet blogs to be weighted on the effective number of bloggers for each language. Sounds crazy, n'est-ce pas? French do believe that their language is still a reference in this virtual world. How silly. Internet is dominated by English and, until Chinese explosion, this won't change. The world does not go back. Languages change and evolve in unpredicted matters and you French should stop trying to embalm this flow.

For the audience, you should know that French are very narrow-minded. As an insider, I can tell you they never go on holiday in places where French is not spoken. That's why they limit their overseas trips to the DOM-TOM (Overseas departments and territories of France). If they cross a border they assume everybody should be ready to interact with them in French. If they buy a software, they immediately ask for the manual in French, be it or not a French software!

Sometimes ago I bought a Garmin GPS and I was astonished discovering on the forums that French were not able to decipher the provided manual in English. Going through the posts on E-bay, I found out that if a French manual was not joined to the GPS they would send the product back to the seller...

When coming to France you will soon realize that they have their own travel guides, Le Routard, while the rest of the world can do with Lonely Planet Guides...

I could go on and on and on, but I would waste then the possibility to make this blog grow up. So come back for future posts and you will find that French pompousness has no boundaries. The sky is the limit! Even though...

Rugby: France - Italy: 25 - 13

Ok, ok, ok, France has won. No problem at all!

Italians won't go yelling around that France cheated.
Italians know we are not good rugby players.
Italians will say it was a good match.

In my opinion, the match was really interesting. I'm not used to watching rugby matches, but, I must say I liked this one. The two teams where strong, and France suffered a little, notably in the lineouts, but scored three tries by fullback Anthony Floch, centre Yannick Jauzion and wing Aurelien Rougerie and collected 10 points from the boot of scrumhalf Dimitri Yachvili.

Italy on its side fought bravely. No regrets then. And, most important, no dramas. Cause Italians are not drama queens.

Fighting in the kitchen

During the last Paris’s Agricultural Show (Salon de l'agriculture), Sarkozy, after insulting a man who refused to shake his hand ("Go away, you bloody idiot," Sarkozy said), called on UNESCO to put his country's gastronomy on its world heritage list...

This made me smile. And left me lost for words.

In fact, strictly following the French pompous standard, Sarkozy (who's not known for his gourmet tastes) declared: "I want France to be the first country to apply to UNESCO, from 2009, for our gastronomic tradition to be recognised as a world heritage. We have the best gastronomy in the world."

Mmmmh…

Italy immediately challenged France's aim of being the first country to have its cuisine put on a UN World Heritage List, with Italian farmers (Coldiretti Association) saying they produced much more speciality foods than the French.
Italian farmers said their pasta, pizza, wine and cheese could easily see off a challenge posed by the haughty French President.

The Coldiretti declaration can be easily confirmed by the fact that Italy has 166 food specialities recognised by the European Union. Poor France, as always, comes in second place with 156," said Coldiretti, adding that Italy could also "beat the Frenchies on their own ground, with Parmesan (Parmiggiano) in the area of cheeses and many wines".

Italy's superiority is also confirmed by many facts. Here’s just a short extract of them:

• Every single one knows our Pasta and our Pizza and every single one loves them.
• Italy is the queen of biological agriculture. Italy is the third country of the world for its number of biological enterprises. It comes first in Europe for the cultivation of lemons and oranges, grapes, wheat, vegetables and cereals. Italy has over 4000 restaurants, farm hotels, markets, school canteens and shops where Italians spend around 1.5 billion euro in biological products, nearly 24 euro per capita. According to a research made by the Chamber of Commerce of Milan Italy comes fourth in the world also for the number of hectares dedicated to biological crops (954.361 hectares). Italy follows Australia, China and Argentine, three countries that are bigger than Italy. Italy comes third also due to the number of enterprises (36,639) that produce or sell bio-products. Italy has won many prizes in Europe. It has won the gold medal for the number of biological products (33 pct in Europe). Italians spend around 1.5 billion year for biological foods and school canteens that use biological foods have risen by 6.4 pct from 2004. In Italy there are also 185 markets, 804 farm hotels and 1014 shops that sell biological products.
• Today, Italy is the largest producer of wine in the world with more vineyards than any other place, including France.
• Spumante is now outselling Champagne, and in 2006 exports of Prosecco broke the threshold of 100 million bottles.

On the other side, McDonalds is France's number one restaurant with over 1000 locations... how charming! France could easily ask for McDonald’s leadership in the EU and I think nobody would disagree with him!

Now, reader, you do understand the reason why I'm lost for words at Sarkozy's unintelligent idea. And I am sure you all agree with me that France should be very very careful with its future declarations about cooking.

Carla Bruni, where are you? You should intervene and let your dear Nicolas taste our specialties. Then and only then he would understand that his country is just a runner-up. Once again.

Sarkozy, Basescu, Merkel. And the pen of destiny.

You may have heard it: some days ago French President Sarkozy was visiting Romania to launch a strategic partnership with the former communist country. During his visit in Bucharest, Nicolas Sarkozy met President Traian Basescu and signed a declaration for a partnership focused on defense and security. Just after signing he fell in love for the pen he had just been using and decided to keep it for himself, as showed in many videos.

This action has been widely criticised in France. Many people complained about the fact that he could have afforded buying any pen and that he needed not begging the Romanian president.

Yesterday, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Nicolas Sarkozy met and, after talking about a Mediterranenan Union project, the former offered the latter a pen to add to his collection. Evidently she was making fun of him publicily (many journalists were present, as you can see in this video here...) .

How wonderful! Everybody is making fun of the French President now. First his own people. Now even a european leader. I think that all of this is evidently due to the incredible development of medias. Being able to watch important people makes us discover that they are exactly just like us: common people.

Sarkozy is one of us. He can steal a shining pen. Angela Merkel too is one of us. She can make jokes.

At the same time all of this is historically very shocking:

• I have always taught of German people as serious people. I dont know why. Maybe it is just an historical heritage. And I seen the german chancellor getting excited.
• At the same time, I have always taught of Frenchies as honest people. Or, if I give it a second thought, Frenchies have always believed that Italians were thieves.

As far as I can see the world is changing. Germans are at last making jokes, French begin to steal and Italians... well, no, I don't think Italians are getting serious or honest... but this is how we are. And we like ourselves very much!

P.S. Italywise, I suggest you to look at this funny movie gag: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj6Epj-J7R0

France versus Italy. Once again.

Italy is not at all a good rugby team. I have always known it. I have been living in Italy for many many years and I have never met any rugby man.

When we are young we go to school. And we learn to play football, mainly on the streets. This must be typical of any Latin country: youngsters play football everywhere, anywhere, with any sort of ball and don’t ask for much more. I was one of them.

Rugby does not interest us.

In Rome, where I lived, two stadiums are close together: At the time I used to go watching football matches at the Stadio Olimpico and I have always seen the neighbouring Stadio Flaminio, which in theory is a rugby field, embarrassedly empty. No one was ever playing there.

I often asked myself what it had been built for (even if being beautifully bordered by impressive statues of athletes of the fascist period) .

Now I discover that, on March 9th, we will be playing a rugby match against France at the Saint Denis stadium in Paris. Italy is in fact taking part in the 6 Nations Rugby Tournament, where England, France, Ireland, Scotland, Wales and Italy itself play to become European Champion.

How fun. How can we be participating in such an important competitions when nobody in our country even knows that a sport such rugby exist? How is that possible? Where has the Italian trainer found players to attend the event? I have no answer for this.

But I am happy. I am happy because the fact that we are taking part in such an important sporting event shows that new ways of thinking are growing in Italy: football is no more the only recreational sport we know. I am happy also because such a match gives us a good opportunity to brave France, notwithstanding the Frenchies evidently overwhelming power. And to show them that Italy is getting ready to become a strong leader in the rugby domain too. Maybe this time we will not win. Maybe we are heading for disaster. But it doesn’t mind.
I understand that we are progressing. And I would very much assist a final against France, just like in the football world cup, and see my country beatin’ them as they deserve.

But I have to admit it will take a very long time. And I have to say I have always appreciated the way the French educational system grows up their youth, by letting them try many different sports and not only football. I myself wish could have had that chance. But it wasn’t so.

So, as for rugby, both countries are getting ready for this match. French have no doubt on the result. And Italians hopes will surely be deceived. But, please, support Italy. And the day we will win I can assure you will like the face those pompous French will adopt.

Because they detest being beaten by Italy!

Marion Cotillard Uncut

Typical example of French superiority: they say they know anything.

And Marion Cottillard, the actress who recently played the role of Edith Piaf, gave a show off by saying that the world got all false! She suggested that there was no landing on the moon and no real 9/11 disaster...

Thank you for showing us this american-driven conspiracy, Marion! Luckily French are there to show us the way...

Can I smile now?